DM Social

Liz created the forum topic The Vicar\'s Salary in the group Jokes:

At Sunday church the local Vicar explains that he must move on to a largerCongregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave becauseHe is so popular. Fred Smith, who owns several car dealerships in Southland and Otago standsup and proclaims: ‘If the Vicar stays, [...]

  12 months ago · View

Liz created the forum topic between husband and wife in the group Jokes:

Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!Wife: No darling, it means,With Idiot For Ever.

  1 year ago · View

Liz created the forum topic always read the signs in the group Jokes:

A guy applied to join a nudist club. “Exactly what do you do here?” he asked. “It’s quite simple,” said the club secretary, “We take off all our clothes and commune with nature.” “Cool,” said the guy, “Count me in!” So he paid his membership fee, took off his gear and strolled off.As he walked [...]

  1 year ago · View

Wammy created the forum topic Skinny Dippers in the group Jokes:

An elderly man in North Carolina had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up really nice, along with some picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.One evening the [...]

  1 year ago · View

Wammy created the forum topic You\'ve been programming too long in the group Jokes:

When you are counting objects, you go “0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D…”.When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.When your wife says “If you don’t turn off that darn machine and come to bed,then I am going to divorce you!”, and you chastise her for for omitting the else clause.When you are [...]

  1 year ago · View

Tinman created the forum topic Spelling is important. in the group Jokes:

[p][a href="http://www.explosm.net/comics/1578/"][/a][br /]Cyanide & Happiness @ [a href="http://www.explosm.net"]Explosm.net[/a][/p]

  1 year, 1 month ago · View

TheFatherMind created the forum topic A married man was having an affair… in the group Jokes:

[p]with his secretary. [/p][p]One day they went to her place[br /]and made love all afternoon. [/p][p]Exhausted, they fell asleep[br /]and woke up at 8 PM. [/p][p]The man hurriedly dressed[br /]and told his lover to take his shoes[br /]outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. [/p][p]He put on his shoes and drove home. [/p][p]‘Where [...]

  1 year, 1 month ago · View

Liz created the forum topic scuba divers in the group Jokes:

[p]So Paddy asks Murphy: “Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?”[/p][p]To which Murphy replies:[/p][p]“You thick idiot – If they fell forwards they’d still be in the bloody boat[/p]

  1 year, 1 month ago · View

Liz created the forum topic How many women with PMT does it take to change a light bulb? in the group Jokes:

[p]Woman’s Answer:[/p][p]One![/p][p]ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don’t even know that the damn bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out.[br /]And, once they figured [...]

  1 year, 1 month ago · View

Liz created the forum topic What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause? in the group Jokes:

[p]Keep busy. If you’re handy with[br /]tools, you can finish the basement.[br /]When you’re done you’ll have a[br /]place to live.[/p]

  1 year, 1 month ago · View

Tinman created the forum topic Where do you find a dog with no legs? in the group Jokes:

[p]Right where you left him.[/p]

  1 year, 1 month ago · View

Monoxide created the forum topic What do you call a man wearing earmuffs? in the group Jokes:

[p]Anything you like, he can’t hear you.[/p]

  1 year, 1 month ago · View

Tinman created the forum topic What key opens every lock? in the group Jokes:

[p]A Pikey[/p]

  1 year, 1 month ago · View